Read below for some tips from employees and family members on unaccompanied tours that have been submitted to FLOaskUT@state.gov. Share your tips on what’s been helpful to you and your family during an unaccompanied assignment.
Note: The websites below are not endorsed by the State Department.
You Were Always on My Mind…
but we are hearing from a number of people in the field who suggest to avoid establishing a regular call time to talk to family and friends. While it may seem like a good idea to say, “I will call you every day at 3 PM sharp” so you can talk to the kids when they get off the bus…but if you find yourself in a meeting that won’t end, you might make the folks back home pretty nervous. Better to say you will try to call, time permitting. Use a variety of ways to stay in touch – phone, Skype, email, and maybe even snail mail (yes, it does still exist).
If you are new to town or just looking for a new place to eat or get your hair cut you may want to Yelp it. This site is a great place to read reviews and get ideas on all kinds of places and things. One person wrote in to say she saved two hundred dollars by Yelping her dog’s veterinarian - seems the first vet with whom she had an appointment was very expensive but with the help of Yelp (www.yelp.com) she found someone less expensive and just as good. Woof! (Note: most Yelp sites are US cities only)
May the Force be with you
Ameriforce (http://www.ameriforce.net/deployment/), a publisher of military magazines, has a Deployment Guide online with free articles. While the articles are geared towards the military, some information is useful to all, especially those preparing for an unaccompanied tour. The 2009 Deployment Guide has:
- Power of Attorney
- How to keep family rituals alive during deployment
- Pre-deployment checklists
In addition to the Deployment guide, there are other guides on finance, automotive, and education.
Who Knew???
“Always triangulate the advice you're getting and consider what makes sense for you, and don't discuss things that might be classified or exhibit bad “opsec”.” (From FSIraq Yahoo group - FSIraq is a forum for the entire Foreign Service community, (FSOs, Specialists, DS and family members,) to discuss issues, share experiences and exchange information about service in Iraq. To join, email FSIraq-subscribe@yahoogroups.com)
Talk to me
Open, frequent, and honest communication is essential for maintaining your relationships while separated – be it from a spouse or partner, a child, a parent, sibling or friend. (take the communication quiz and read articles here: http://ezinearticles.com/?Communication-Style-Quiz&id=97457)
Who you Kindleing?
No joke - there is a new Kindle on the block (or hooch), just when you thought it couldn’t get any better Amazon has the new Kindle DX for sale, packing a 9.7 inch screen 3.3 GB of storage space-enough for thousands of books-and native PDF support (whatever that means). We do like the “read for days without recharging” claim, if true. And we heard it from reliable sources that these little devices are great for downloading and reading your favorite books anywhere in the world. (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00154JDAI/ref=sv_kinc_0)
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Choices
We make choices every day from “do I wear the teal or peacock shirt to dinner” to “low fat or fat free yogurt?” to “should I hit ‘send’?” Remember, the choices you make about how to cope with stress and occupy your time may have a lasting impact on the lives of you and your loved ones. (How to make smart decisions in less than 60 seconds and yes, sometimes it does-and should-take longer)
Let go and grow
Take care of what you can and learn to let go of the rest. Those deep breaths will come in handy…INHALE... (HOLD)…EXHALE…similar tips in quotes from the Dalai Lama.
No, we’re not referring to the kind to drink…it’s your home away from home! Did you know the GIs used the word “hooch” as their living space during the Vietnam War? Since many of you are very familiar with hooches , we thought we would give you some suggestions for living in them. There are a number of good websites that specialize in organizing a small living space: try www.organize.com or http://www.mamas-attic.net/organize/index.htm for some suggestions on what to do with all your stuff. If you think you have clever thoughts on hooches please write us at floaskut@state.gov. Remember, leave room under your bed for the “duck and…”
Ready, steady, go!
Are your kids ready to help your family get prepared for the unexpected? Your family can use this web site to create a plan that will help you be ready for many different kinds of unexpected situations. The Ready Kids (http://www.ready.gov/kids/home.html) web site features step-by-step instructions on what families can do to be better prepare and the role kids can play in this effort. (Geared towards 4-5th grades)
Calling all cooks…
I can tell you that the very best way to show one's love to someone on an unaccompanied tour/deployment overseas, is to send something homemade. Cookies, brownies, whatever. One need not be a gourmet pastry chef or have any special expertise, just follow a recipe and make plenty of it. The entire group will share it and it'll be gone in an hour, but the warm feeling of love will remain, within each person and in the unit and everyone they deal with, for quite a long time.
Missing Fluffy?
We took care of my son’s dog during his tour and sent him videos online of his dog playing in the snow during the winter. The Dog Whisperer DVDs were also a hit!
If it’s 10 AM here, what time is it in…
We keep a separate clock set for the time zone of the other person. It makes phone calling easier and the kids feel more connected to what mom is doing right now.
(You may also be able to program a clock on your personal computer or use a site like this: http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/ to instantly check the time. See and set clocks on the internet here: http://www.poodwaddle.com/clocks.htm)
Your face ‘here’
“For my husband’s birthday I let my 10 year old design a special stamp for dad’s card.
It was very easy, we went to the USPS site; bought the Customized Postage package. Then we took a great photo of our family- even the dog, in order to process it into a stamp. It made my husband’s birthday special even if we couldn’t celebrate together.
We might just do this for Christmas!”
(USPS http://www.usps.com/postagesolutions/customizedpostage.htm)
Putting the “R’s” in R&R
“Be careful where you spend R&R, remember you really do need some rest and recuperation. Going to another country where you have limited mobility, have to be careful what you eat and who you talk to; may not be what you need, even though it is a great vacation spot. Pick a spot where you all can really have time to do something different and have freedom of movement. Make things easier for yourself-you deserve it!”
What’s the hype with Skype?
Wish your loved ones could visit you in Iraq, but a little thing called “war” is standing in the way? No problem. Skype is the answer. It's free, it works, and is the best way to remain connected to family.” Download it on your personal computer at http://www.skype.com/ (Tip from http://www.wingtipsontheground.com/Site/Iraq_Packing_List.html)
School’s out for summer
“It really worked well for our family to set up a joint email account with my son’s school so that both parents can communicate with teachers and administrators throughout the year.”
Hungry? Why wait? (well you might have to…)
“I like to use netgrocer (http://shop.netgrocer.com) and igourmet (http://www.igourmet.com/) to order food, like my favorite organic coffee. It takes a bit longer for it to reach me here in Baghdad but it’s worth it to me.” (Note: Both places will ship to APO/FPO. Netgrocer - APO/FPO shipping charges are based on the actual weight of your order, the number of boxes that comprise your order and the specific APO/FPO AA, AP or AE zip code you are shipping to. Igourmet - Use the table on the site to determine your base shipping rate and add a $5 surcharge.)
Taking time for yourself
“When I do have those rare moments of free time, I pour myself into things I like to do but my wife doesn’t. I have decided that during her tour in Islamabad, I’ll make this an opportunity to do the things I enjoy but haven’t done for a while because they are not shared interests for us as a couple.”
Goodnight Moon…Goodnight Mom…
“I think it would be a great idea to have some of the more popular young children’s books at post so I can read to my five-year old son through the webcam on my laptop and he can follow along with his copy at home. I think I’ll ask my husband to mail me some and then just leave them at the Embassy for other people.”
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